A Message from the Comforting Ghost
Written in the 10th month, on the 10th day of the month, in the year of the Chief Dragon Slayer, 2012, to new Slayers undergoing rigorous training: Greetings!
Has anyone ever betrayed your trust in such a hideous, sniveling manner as Bilgewater did to me? Why, I am ready to . . . Grrrr! . . . I am ready to . . . to . . . oh dear, I detect the voice of the Comforting Ghost whispering in my ear, saying, “Love your enemies, do good to those who persecute you, do not repay evil for evil.” What?! Can I not kick Bilgebuddy in the shins?! “No. Revenge in the hands of a Dragon Slayer is too dangerous. Let the Mysterious Three take care of dealing with Bilgebuddy.” Oh, but I despise the liar! Just let me at him and I’ll SHOW HIM WHICH WAY IS UP! BANG ZOOM TO THE MOON, YOU SCOUNDREL!
Ah, the whisper of the Ghost . . . “Calm down, Wyvern. Your job is to state the truth aloud. My job is to deal with Bilgebuddy’s heart. You have done your job well. Now move onto the next task.”
Oh my dear Slayer, now you can see just exactly how difficult the business of slaying dragons can be! I want to ring the neck of that wretched Bilgebuddy, that so-called “friend” who has hurt me so badly (and has hurt you, too, I might add). But for the sake of the Chief Dragon Slayer, I will not “get even” with Bilgebuddy, no I won’t. But puleeze use P-R-A-Y on my behalf: Pray for me, Dragon Slayer, PULEEZE!!
I am calmer now. And I must return to the library at the Secret Order and begin my research on Bilgewater all over again. No worries. I will re-copy those musty files and begin afresh my detailed studies. By next week I shall at long last be ready to provide you with some outrageous information on Bilgewater’s past. Yes, I shall do it! And I shall not brag this time about my research skills. Instead, I’ll put them to use.
How exhausted I am. Lies do that to a person.
I wemain yoh faitful twaineh,
[do action=”signature”][signature][/do], plugging his nose
(stupendous whiffs still wafting from huge piles of dragon dung)