Bilgewater is a Big Fat Liar!

Written in the 9th month, on the 5th day of the month, in the year of the Chief Dragon Slayer, 2012, to new Slayers undergoing rigorous training: Greetings!

As I was saying, long ago Bilgewater bound people in its webs of lies, sucking the life right out of them!

Nevertheless, back in those days, Bilgewater’s disgusting dung hills had not grown quite as high as they are now. It’s not that the lies have suddenly become more, well, lie-like—because a lie is a lie, no matter what—but rather that their topics have changed. That’s correct: it’s Bilgewater’s subject matter that has grown worse. You see, in days long ago the evil-tongued beast deceived people by lying to them about . . . oh, I don’t know . . . it was a host of things, really . . .  things such as betrayal of trust. For example, a knight of the realm tells his king that he will always fight for him, that he will defend the king with his life. But that knight might actually be lying. That’s right, the KNIGHT MIGHT BE LYING! In fact, even as he swears his allegiance to his lord, he might be plotting to turn against the unsuspecting king, capture him and cut off his head! That’s what I mean by betrayal, and it happened all the time back then.

 

Of course, it happens now, too, but Bilgewater tired a bit of these common schemes, and people got better at detecting them, so it (and by “it” I refer to Bilgewater) had to increase the dung piles. In other words, the Sham Rocks have grown in size and now they reek something fierce.

 

I can hear what you’re asking: “But Sir Wyvern, how do you know such things?” The answer is quite simple. Did I not tell you that my research skills are unparalleled? Well they are and I’m not afraid to admit it. After days spent in the archives, I’ve discovered facts that would make your flesh crawl, and I dare say that no one—I repeat: NO ONE—but myself has had the wherewithal, or the strength, to tackle Bilgewater’s ploys for . . . oh dear, I’m suddenly nauseated . . . I’m . . . gak! . . . about to puke! . . . forgive me, Dragon Slayer, I shall have to . . . finish this . . . next . . . week . . . BLACHHH!! . . . BLACHHH!!

 

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