Written in the 10th month, on the 31th day of the month, in the year of the Chief Dragon Slayer, 2012, to new Slayers undergoing rigorous training: Greetings!
As I said, Bilgewater will use its powers to persuade you that the greatest lie of all is true! So employ your Armor immediately! Cinch the Belt of Truth around your waist. HURRY! DO IT NOW, NOW! Without it, the Armor will not fit!
Next, grab a quiver-full of the Arrows of Truth! QUICKLY!
Then hold up the Shield of Faith! DO IT NOW! The Shield will extinguish all the flaming Arrows of Falsehood that Bilgewater shoots at you. What’s that you’re saying?! YOU’RE TOO WEAK TO HOLD UP THE SHIELD?! Oh, PULEEZE! OF COURSE YOU ARE!! The Shield is gigantic! And heavy! Do you know why it’s heavy? It bears the WEIGHT OF TRUTH, that’s why! Have I not instructed you to do your exercises, to strengthen your muscles? Of course I have! It is imperative to your success! Nevertheless, do not fear your weakness, Dragon Slayer. Do not! For when you are weak, that is when you are most strong—strong with the strength of the Mighty One. So then, P-R-A-Y for the strength to lift the Shield and strength will be given you. (While you’re praying, I guess I need to wait until next week.)