Chief Dragon Slayer, 2012, to new Slayers undergoing rigorous training: Greetings!
I hate to ruin your day, I really do. But now is the time to tell you about the worst thing in the world that Bilgewater did, ever.
First I must restate the truth about Bilgewater. The truth is this: nothing that Bilgewater says—nothing!—is true. That’s right, Bilgewater’s so-called “truth” is false. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Yes you did, because you have studied my superb training manual; you have read the pages on this monstrous liar. Good!
The lies spouting from Bilgewater’s foul mouth are endless. But the biggest lie of all, the most ENORMOUS LIE IN THE UNIVERSE, so huge it cannot be measured, and so dire that its effects cannot be calculated, is, in fact, the worst dragony act Bilgewater has ever performed.
That greatest lie in the universe is this: it is . . . gasp! . . . it is . . . argghhh! . . . ach! Cringe Liver has me about the neck! . . . It’s pulling me into a Trepidation Cave! . . . Take that, you liver-bellied scoun—